Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah. 

I get a placement for master program in family medicine

This is my second time seeing ma crying

I don't exactly know what happened, i heard my brother talking loudly, as if he mad of something but barely heard if ma had say anything. The second i checked, i saw my mom walking toward the chair, sitdown and started to cry. My heart aching seeing her crying, she must be very upset with what happened.   I try to console heart, tapping her shoulder and bring her cup of cold water. 

She say something about what happened, mmm im not going to jot everthing down. I asked mom to go to her room and take a break. But she insist to sit there, so i let her. meanwhile i did the dishes, when i'm about to finish i wanna check up on mom that sit just few steps from me. I see my brother came asking for forgiveness and mom start crying again... and my heart aches.

Mom is the best blessing i ever had and thank Allah for that. I pray that i will never hurt her , make she happy and fulfill her dream. She barely asked me for nothing except to massage her aching body, do the dishes and just few other small things that she shouldn't even asked for because it's my duty. 

O Allah make me a good daughter to my parent.

update

 

Mom is getting well

Alhamdulillah, my mom is getting healthier. She no longer has fever,  lymph node  swelling at her cervical region has resolved. Today i reviewed all her routine blood test, all is in normal range. 

Hopefully she will remain in a good health. 

Busy day

Last week had been a very hectic weeks. Literally i've to work almost everyday and it really drain my energy. I just need a good rest and i'll be better if if can rest at beautiful redang or perhentian island.

Severe dyspepsia

I have a bad episode of dyspepsia last monday, the worst epigastric pain i've ever experienced. Pain only slow down at 3. am after taking tramadol 

How i spend my weeekend

 

for these two days i woke up late. after solat subuh, i cont sleeping till 10 am. 

rest of the day i spent cleaning, mostly in the kitchen. I just bought a book , urus rumah with Hani and i was inspired to do the cleaning after reading this book. Had to reorganise everything, do some deep cleaning, preparing paste so that i can cook faster later on. 

today, mom & me went out to get some groceries, we stop at kedai jual ikan & i spent rm80 buying 2 kind of fish , ikan selayang & ikan kejar anjing (if im heard it right) , squid & prawns. Then we headed to Zua supermarket to get some other groceries and our last stop is kedai baha to buy vegetables and few other things. 

i made roti puri with sardines today , followed recipe Cik Nom.  Berjayo sis buat.

second personality

I'm always a different person when i'm about to get my period. The alpha version of me will get out, I'll be more outspoken, oversensitive, sometimes confident and sometimed becoming dubious over everything and i really hope no one messed up with me when im not really me. 

Recently i've had some issues with colleague, not sure if im the one who should be blamed but i do feel guilty for behaving that way.. well certain thing cant be undo. I've to let it go and make peace with myself. I want to keep my circle very very small, let just be close with 1-2 friends. Rather than have many people around me but at the end i've hurt their feeling or vice verse. 

Right now i just want work profesionally and not mixing my personal affair during working. 

Dear me, its okay. its okay....not to be okay.  Just be you and try you very best. Its okay if you dont want to talk to anyone,its okay if you feel low, its okay if you want to rest and let go everything....love yourself.